He will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

Thursday, October 21, 2010

this blog

I don't have anything to report at this time. They just blood from Craig's port to be tested for the billirubin counts and it usually takes an hour or so to get the results back. We are just waiting for the doctor. We do a lot of waiting.

I wanted to post about this blog and the future of this blog. I have been criticized for a post that I deleted yesterday b/c it sounded  not political correct. Let me tell you this disease is not politically correct. If you don't like what you are reading then don't read the blog. I can't make cancer pretty, it is UGLY with a capital U-G-L-Y. We haven't gotten a month into this and I can tell you that it is ugly. The physical side effects that I didn't post about to spare the integrity of my husband are ugly. The emotional side effects are UGLY. You can only sugar coat so much. Two/three weeks ago I set up the blog b/c I was send a billion and one text messages, emails and facebook messages a day and saying the same things over and over. Most have said wonderful things about the blog, they know what they need to pray for, they don't have to call us 10 times a day to see how things are going etc etc. I appreciate the support but here the facts, there may be post that you don't want to read. Don't read them.

One of my fears with this blog is for the people that don't know me. There are BB&T friends and grade school friends of Craig's that don't know that I am an extremely scarcastic person and what I say may come off as insensitive at times. Know that I love this man with all my heart. We have a different relationship but it works for us (most of the time). We are not perfect and we don't claim to be. We fought before cancer we will fight during cancer and after cancer. We are opposites and through God we have worked through our differences and our marriage gets stronger everyday and sometimes it doesn't. Generally I am a very black and white head-strong person, through God's good grace and being married to an EXTREMELY patient man my edges have soften over the years but this blog is the story of a journey through the struggles of cancer. You can either take it or leave it.
I am also really long winded and probably talk too much so sorry for the long tangent, I had no intention of this being this long...

In the future this blog will be private rather than public. More to come on that when I figure out the details.

PS it wasn't someone at BB&T or a grade school friend, I didn't mean that that way.

4 comments:

Kelly Lawson said...

You GO GIRL!

sara said...

Didn't see the post in question, but I think the blog is GREAT and is a fantastic way to both keep people in the loop (without you being inundated with hundreds of emails and messages a day), and for you all to express yourselves. I check in on the blog a couple of times a day just to see if there is any news. Personally, I say thanks for sharing with us through the blog!

KLB said...

I can't think of a scripture right now but I think you know my song/mantra. "There is light at the end of this tunnel." It picks me up and gets me going. And also I have another one that really helps me just sit and cry and get it all out and then I pick myself up when the song is over and get back to life. I give myself those 3 minutes. I can't think of the name but it is "There will be a day with no more fears, no more pain, and no more tears." May not help with patience but are helpful to me none the less.

Mindy Hutchins said...

I'm sorry that you're having to feel like you must censor your feelings. I support your words 100%! I understand your relationship dynamics, because I also live them. That's what makes you and Craig so awesome! Keep on talking sister!