Sunday nights

I don't know what it is about Sunday nights but I seem to get waaaaay ahead of myself. I don't know if it is the agony of what will happen this week. I don't know if it is just exhaustion from entertaining little ladies all weekend but every Sunday night since the diagnosis I have gone off the deep end. "Normal" Sunday nights are usually about making sure sheets are ready for daycare, backpacks are by the door, clothes are laid out, load of laundry done etc. I still do those things it is just with tears in my eyes. reality sucks right now. We are hopeful and prayerful but reality really really sucks right now. No one is promised a certain number of days but when it is out there that someone somewhere is counting yours it really hits you like a ton of bricks. Even if Craig beats the odds, 15 - 20 years isn't long enough. No amount of time will be good enough. I want him at high school graduations, weddings, grand children's graduations and weddings, great grandchildren's weddings... so greedy about our time together.

It is Monday and it is a new day. I can sit here and continue the pity party from last night or I can get to the new week and thank God for my fantastic family that I have today.