Craig is extremely tired. He seemed more tired during this treatment than any other one in the past (minus the first one). In the doctor's office he slept most of the time we were there and normally he just sleeps about an hour before lunch and then watches a movie during the second drug. At home he is sleeping a lot. He said that he felt like it was a Friday after treatment rather than the Thursday which meant he was extra tired. I am hoping it just means that he was tired from the holidays going into the treatment rather than a cumulative effect now that we are almost to the halfway mark. Maybe he is getting tired quicker so that he can get to feeling better quicker, maybe?
I went into the office today for a half day and then wandered around the mall since I knew the girls were having a blast at Michelle's house today. I haven't walked the mall in years. I felt like a normal person. I got a bunch of little things done while I was running around without kids. After we got home we decided to take down the Christmas decoration outside since it was in the 40s. The girls drove the Barbie Jeep up and down the driveway while I took down the lights. We got everything down except the blow up Santa who was wet and is on the porch drying. Then we decided to get everything in the house put away. They worked so hard tonight it is ridiculous. They took all the non-glass ornaments off the tree, then we ate dinner, they set the table and cleared, then when I was getting Hannah to bed they swaps the loads of laundry out, after I got Hannah down for the night they helped get the lights off the tree and then helped carry each branch downstairs to be stored in the basement. I am pretty sure I broke every child labor law in the state of Kentucky. They never complained and were the best little helpers. Honestly I probably wouldn't have gotten it done all in one night without their help. I am glad that I bought them dresses as Gymboree, they earned them for sure. It amazes me all they can do. They are just 3 (4 in Feb.) and 5. I am unbelievably blessed.
We have really pulled together when Craig is down. We have great girl power in this house. It is really wonderful. They bring me such joy and not just b/c they are cheap help but we really have fun getting it all done together. The other night we made banana bread muffins and then they cleaned the kitchen. They do a really good job too. Crazy little helpers. Once Hannah can walk I am sure she will join in.
Today was good. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day trying not to fall apart. I did get some work done and that is a great distraction but I kept going over something that the RN said on Tuesday. She was talking about a success story of a cancer patient that did great on his chemo. It was a similar story to Craig and he fought it for 10 years. That is great, right? Yes of course, 10 years is better than the 6 months he was handed in October but when I do the math in my head I will have a 15 year old, a 14 year old, and a 10 year old. Doesn't sounds like a big success then does it? Raising teens on my own? Dealing with the grief of three teenagers during the most hormonal years we live together, not so much. I have to think that they will come up with a cure if he just hangs on that long. Or best case scenario this six months of chemo just gets rid of it and we are cancer-free forever more, 100 years. Stranger things have happened. I am going to hang on to that hope for a while and take the blessing as they come.
I have to write a quick note of a couple thank yous. We are soooooo far behind on the thank you notes right now. I know that I am going to forget something but thanks to all those who have made dinners. They are so appreciated and every one of them have been so good. Yum! This week was Ives beef stew and Nikki's chicken and dumplings, so darn good.
Oldham County Chamber did a fundraiser for us. The money has been tucked in an account for the future. If we ever need to travel to a bigger cancer campus that is what the money will be used for. thanks so much for giving us the secure that it is sitting there if we need it.
Secret Santa at Vanguard thank you for the game, the girls loved it but the note brought tears to my eyes. For someone to think of us and pray for us is so incredibly touching.
Sheehy friends, this is so late but thank you for the wii accessories and gift card. You really shouldn't have.
Brent - thanks for fixing the garbage disposal, I won't shove that much food down it again.
Girlfriends - thanks for getting me out of here to talk about other things besides cancer. The drinks were tasty too.
There are so many more people that have helped us out, I could dedicate a whole other blog to just the thanks yous.
People ask daily what they can do and the answer is always pray for us. It is wonderful to know that so many people are rooting Craig and our family on in this battle but my fear is to give people something to do and then they forget about us. Like they checked it off their "to do" list. We need prayers. We need our miracle to be a cancer-free home. We need to be that case they can't explain and doesn't follow the typical pancreatic cancer story. So keep praying we really appreciate the support.
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