Treatment #3 Tuesday

I'm ready for tomorrow. I get myself psyched up best I can going into the treatment. I know I need it, I'm doing it for a reason. It's not going to be fun but it is what it is. They will do a tumor marker tomorrow which is a fancy way of saying we are doing a blood test that says kind of how active the cancer is in my system. We don't know what the numbers mean but we will have plenty of questions in the morning. I'm very optimistic about things right now but I somehow always plan on hearing negative news. I've never really came out of a visit yet thinking things were better off than what we thought. I prepare myself for the worst but hope to hear decent news. The last week has been really good and I've got it made up in my mind that my tumor has shrunk some. I'm used to have pains in my abdomen and I'm used to having a hard time laying down and getting comfortable in bed. The pains are much less and I can get comfortable pretty easily now in bed which is very much a blessing. I can eat a lot now as well and I have been scarfing down some food the last few days to try and gain some weight. I have a had a cold the last few days and have a cough which scares us though because the worst news is that it has spread more beyond the pancreas and liver to a place like my lungs. I'm grounded for the worst but I can't help but be optimistic because I'm feeling great. We'll see. I'm amazed on how many prayer lists I've been thrown on at church's across town and with friends across the country. We are praying for miracles which is really true but I believe God can pull this off. He has pulled off many miracles so I know he can do this. He's going to be there for me no matter what this cancer has in store. I'll take the miracle if I'm given it. I'm short and sweet tonight, need to get to bed.