Today

Last night was scary. Craig wasn't feeling well and in a different way than before. I was really scared. This morning when I woke up he didn't get up with me to help get the girls off to school. When I returned from all the school drop-offs I called the doctor's office to see if they had insight on what might be going on. We were suppose to go to the cemetery and the funeral home together to do some pre-planning but Craig just wasn't up to it. I went to the 9:30 appointment by myself while Patty (Craig's mom) stayed at home with him and waited for a call back from the doctor's office. After I got back I got antsy. I couldn't take another night of so scary so I went ahead and called the general Hospice of Louisville number, if nothing else to get some information.

Craig was just so fatigued and remained that way throughout the day. He complained of additional pain and a "swirly head" which he couldn't pick up off the pillow. He asked if they could come out today but the earliest appointment was tomorrow at 9:30a. I moved some appointments around and cancelled the funeral home pre-plan appointment until next week. I decided one of these "lovely" appointments is enough for a day. It is too much for this heart to do more than one a day.

Saturday morning I am meeting the girl's art therapist to get together a plan on what to tell the girls, when and how. I broke down on the phone with her today and asked if they were going to be productive  and wonderful people even though they will just have a mom. And she said yes, they have two loving parents and even when they have just have one they know that Craig loved them and it will be a matter of working through their emotions through their loss. So there you go, parenting tip of the day: make sure that your kids know you love them. They spoke volumes to me. I can't change the situation but I can ensure them they are loved (ridiculously loved) and that is a good start to anything, right?

After dinner I went to my facing adversity group at SECC. Craig gained some strength and work on some videos with his mom this evening while I was out. I was shocked to walk in and see him on the couch with the laptop checking Facebook rather than in bed like he had been all day.

I have to say one of the biggest blessing in the past year + is the facing adversity group at SECC. Amazing people working through tough situations, God's way. They prayed around me and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. So wonderful to have that kind of love and peace come over you all at once. They have been an incredible encouragement every step of the way. The good the bad and the ugly. This whole week I have just been craving that group. I have just been saying to myself, I just need to make it Thursday night. It is like the feeling of home. They are just so good to me. So many people even before I updated them on the situation at home they came up to me and said, God woke me up so many times in the past week so that I could pray for you. They have tears in the eyes even before they knew anything. That is God's work. We have seen it so often through this journey. God is so Good.