He will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Post Christmas Blues

I think everyone gets the after Christmas blues. It is like there is a wall in your plans of life, before Christmas and after Christmas. You just have the get all the Christmas "stuff" done, planned, wrapped, baked, cameras charged, blah, blah blah. Then the day after Christmas you look around and just think what do we do now? What did we talk about before the topic of Christmas came up? So we have been in a little bit of post-Christmas funk, well it may be more than just post-Christmas funk... but that is what I am tagging it as b/c I really can't put my finger on the true emotion. We have been living in survival mode for so long with treatment plans and cancer talks but this is a very strange normal. Christmas was a great celebration but it was also a great distraction. I am really not sure what to do with myself now. It all seems to be settling in, in a real way.

Craig was feeling great Christmas Eve, no issues at all. We even bickered after church, just like old times. We have been so far from "normal" I don't even remember what normal looks like but then I saw a glimpse of it and I was right back to a year ago of "I want my life back!!" Some of the emotions of October 2010 were right there all over again. Geez.

I am thankful for a great Christmas with a great family. It was wonderful to celebrate like we always have...at least one last time...

The girls are doing great. Loved their toys Santa and everyone else bought them. Hannah received a (not real) dog that walks, barks and pants. Morgan received a Barbie house and Emily received a Vtech gaming pad. Plus much much more and they loved it all. They got sleeping-bags from my brother and they have been "camping out" in their bunks for the past couple nights.

Margarit, Craig's hospice nurse, is coming over for a visit tomorrow morning. Some days he is good with only a couple naps and day a goes out for lunch or dinner and some days there is more napping than being awake and not a lot of eating. It is not very consistent either way.

So that's where we are, just in a funk. It has been great to catch up with friends that have taken some time off of work. We have an amazing support system that hears the tough conversations. anyway. I'm reading the book "Living With Thorns" for about the fourth time (maybe fifth). It is such an insightful read. I have highlighted and underlined more than I leave blank. I highly recommend it to anyone that's life has taken a turn in a direction they hadn't anticipated.
 
Hope everyone received the peace and joy that the birth of Jesus promised us and had a very merry CHRISTmas!!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I feel your words deeply (again). I remember my last Christmas with Ed last year and it was surreal knowing it was the last. I also can relate to trying to find "normal". For 17 months we battled this horrific disease, then you make a sort of peace with the inevitable. I am just now finding my new "normal" as it has been a little over 4 months since he left us. I continue to pray for all of you and keep you very near to my heart.

Please know you can reach out to me anytime if you have feelings that you think no one else can understand.

God Bless you all. MK

Rick Blair said...

I am happy that you were able to experience a little bit of normal. Christmas was a blessed and holy time for our family. Great Mass at St. Lawrence, good music, excellent homily at the Children's Mass, and many prayers for Craig and every member of the Merimee Family. I pray for many more normal times for you guys.

God Bless