Dressed for school
Morgan's wig is 30" long, you just can't see it in the picture. She loved it.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Proclamation Details
Here's the details for tomorrow's proclamation
Tuesday Nov. 1st @ 2pm
Oldham County Fiscal Court Building
The Fiscal Court meeting is held on the 2nd floor of the Fiscal Court building which is a tall 2 story building with big white columns in the front. The county clerk's office is on the first floor.
The easiest way to get to the building is taking I-71 north to exit #22 LaGrange.
Take a left onto Highway 53 off of the exit.
Go about one mile and the building will be on the left side on the corner of Hwy 53 and Jefferson St. Jefferson St. is the next street after crossing over the railroad tracks which runs down the middle of downtown LaGrange. The is a small parking lot across Hwy 53 at Jefferson St and there are also spots on the street in that whole area.
100 W. Jefferson St.
LaGrange, KY 40031
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Dilaudid
My pain medicine has become a very good friend of mine. Thursday's treatment went pretty good. I walked out of the treatment feeling better by far than I ever have after a treatment. I wasn't sick or worn out. I had a fun 3 hour trip back with Jason. I got home and hung out with the wife for about 2 hours before I went to bed around 11. Friday morning got off to a good start but later that morning, my stomach turned upside down on me and I'm still recovering. It's frustrating, not sure if it's the treatment or the cancer. I've been taking the pain meds around the clock and starting yesterday, I've been double dosing and hitting it every 4 hours. I set the alarm last night to take it at 3am. I really hurt in the night if I just try to sleep as long as I can. The pain has been very uncomfortable. Friday I got about 3-4 hours in the afternoon of limited feeling of the pain and got to go to Vanguard's trunk or treat and watched Hannah and Morgan go around for their first round of candy. We wanted to go out to dinner as a family bit I nixed that after my stomach couldn't be settled again. The feeling is a constant knot that won't go away. I didn't get to sleep much Friday night. I was crossing my fingers on Saturday that things would turn around but I had to unfortunately bail on the trip to Lexington. Michelle's family always gets together for one UK football game and we all go up and do the all day tailgate the right way and take in a game. We take the girls as well and show them the campus and they always have a ball. I stayed home and Michelle, Emily and Morgan made the trip up. Michelle's mom took care of Hannah for the day and she treated her to some toy store action and Barnes and Noble for a new book. I was bummed about not going but did have a few friends come over and visit. My friend Scott was dropped off who was doped up on percocets from his shoulder surgery and I was doped up on my dilaudid, kind of funny. Anyway, I've been double dosing and had a pretty good day today. I got to go to church, visit with Brad (brother in law) who was in from Chicago, took a nap and felt well enough to allow Michelle to get out and have some time to herself and me and the girls played Candyland, Sorry and played outside for a good 2 hours. We got to carve our pumpkin this evening as a family which is always messy and fun. Anyways, this pain is annoying and I want it to go away. The double doing makes me a little more tired but I've been able to function all day (nap helped). I'll have another treatment this week and Brent Bohannon will be this week's wing man. I'm going to try to go to work tomorrow and I'm hoping for a good Halloween. Emily will be a 50's girl (pink poodle skirt is cute), Morgan will be Rapunzel and will be sporting 30 inches of hair extension and Hannah will be our little ladybug.
Tuesday is the Oldham County proclamation day. I will be getting more details tomorrow and will pass those along on the blog because people have been asking. Judge-Executive Voegele will be issuing an Official Proclamation recognizing November as Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month for Oldham County. He'll present it to me and then I'm going to give a short presentation on some not so fun facts about pancreatic cancer. Purple is our color by the way. If you've got time available, you are welcome to join. I do know the governement meeting starts at 2pm and is located on the 2nd floor of the Oldham County Clerk's building in LaGrange.
Tuesday is the Oldham County proclamation day. I will be getting more details tomorrow and will pass those along on the blog because people have been asking. Judge-Executive Voegele will be issuing an Official Proclamation recognizing November as Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month for Oldham County. He'll present it to me and then I'm going to give a short presentation on some not so fun facts about pancreatic cancer. Purple is our color by the way. If you've got time available, you are welcome to join. I do know the governement meeting starts at 2pm and is located on the 2nd floor of the Oldham County Clerk's building in LaGrange.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Why did we decide on the clincal trial at Vandy?
I haven't updated the blog which much of anything lately except status updates b/c as the old saying goes "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I am tired of this situation in ways that is not politically correct to talk about it. The anniversary of diagnosis was just horrible. It wasn't just replaying the day in my head a million times it was the fact that I no longer have the luxury of our past being normal. Cancer is our past, present and future. On October 4th 2011 I longer can say "this time last year we were..." and fill in the blank with something normal... having a baby, etc. etc. But on October 5th 2011 we were looking for treatment options, in and out of doctor's offices, waiting for results, looking for answer, preparing for the next steps... etc etc. the same crap we are were doing a year ago. It is now not only our present but our past and our future. It is heartbreaking. I miss thinking "This time last year..." and filling in with a non-cancer related thing.
So I have kept quiet for a while now on the blog but I do want to tell you why Craig signed up for the clinical trial at Vanderbilt. This is my version of the story and it may have played out in Craig's mind much differently but for me here ya go.
We came home from the trip thinking the treatment wasn't worth the trouble of getting down to Nashville once a week. It doesn't have any more promise than anything here in Louisville. They flat out don't know if this will work. The theory has worked on other cancers but when you are talking about one of the most aggressive cancers that doesn't really mean it will work on this one. Most of us when making a decision will make a list of pros and cons on each side and weigh your options and come to some kind of logical conclusion which we did several times. We were staying home and doing the standard care. It made sense for Craig's career goals, it made sense for the logistics of the kids, it made the most sense for my sanity, the decision was made... except it wasn't. I think every parent can picture this scenario, you give your child two options and one options is the easiest and they of course right off the bat choose that one and then you ask again, not telling them what your preference is but letting them make the decision on there own...well kind of.
For example, "Emily, do you want cupcakes or carrots for dinner?" What is a 5 year old going to choose? cupcakes! so you ask again hoping they choose the one that is better for them "Emily, do you want cupcakes or carrots for dinner?" Cupcakes. "Emily, Do you want cupcakes or carrots?" As parents you ask and you ask until they make the right decision (if you have that kind of patience). You want them to think through the two choices but clearly you have the better option in mind so you keep asking. So eventually they choose carrots b/c really it isn't going to be really decided until they make the "right" decision.
In my mind that was the scenario that played out for the decision of standard treatment at home vs. clinical trial at Vandy. Oh the decision was made several times, we were staying home! But then the question kept coming up, and not in a doubting way, it made sense, we were staying home. But like a patient parent He kept asking and until Vandy called and the appointment was made without discussion of pros and cons or what we were going to do. The decision was made and the questions stopped being asked.
I am not sure why He wanted on this clinical trial. Is it the best form of treatment for Craig at this time and the next step in healing? Or did He want Craig is be a part of the research puzzle? Not sure. Either way we are honored that He kept asking and it is a part of the journey and obedience to follow Him. Craig is the youngest person in the trial at Vandy. So it could be at the end of the trial Dr. Berlin could say, "this is a break through treatment and here is our poster child and a clear scan" or he could say "this treatment doesn't work on PC, if it was going to work for anyone it would have been Craig."
Either way we are walking through this journey His way and regardless where that leads, healing on earth or in heaven, it is fine.
I have always felt that this journey is part of something much bigger than us. He has a purpose for all this adversity. We will follow His way, no matter what His purpose is for this journey.
So Craig is at Vandy getting the second treatment with his "wing man", Jason. I have no idea how things are going but someone will update tonight or tomorrow. Going into the treatment he was on pain-killers and still had back and abdomen pain.
Prayers for no side effects and ease of the pain.
Please pray for me. I have been down a very selfish road these past couple days and was Bitter Betty. That road is not joyful, not tolerable and there is no way that I can fulfill His will for our family on that road. After a long conversation with a dear friend I am getting back on track. God put Gwen in my life and I am forever grateful. forever grateful. She hears the worst of the worst and is somehow is still willing to be my friend.
So I have kept quiet for a while now on the blog but I do want to tell you why Craig signed up for the clinical trial at Vanderbilt. This is my version of the story and it may have played out in Craig's mind much differently but for me here ya go.
We came home from the trip thinking the treatment wasn't worth the trouble of getting down to Nashville once a week. It doesn't have any more promise than anything here in Louisville. They flat out don't know if this will work. The theory has worked on other cancers but when you are talking about one of the most aggressive cancers that doesn't really mean it will work on this one. Most of us when making a decision will make a list of pros and cons on each side and weigh your options and come to some kind of logical conclusion which we did several times. We were staying home and doing the standard care. It made sense for Craig's career goals, it made sense for the logistics of the kids, it made the most sense for my sanity, the decision was made... except it wasn't. I think every parent can picture this scenario, you give your child two options and one options is the easiest and they of course right off the bat choose that one and then you ask again, not telling them what your preference is but letting them make the decision on there own...well kind of.
For example, "Emily, do you want cupcakes or carrots for dinner?" What is a 5 year old going to choose? cupcakes! so you ask again hoping they choose the one that is better for them "Emily, do you want cupcakes or carrots for dinner?" Cupcakes. "Emily, Do you want cupcakes or carrots?" As parents you ask and you ask until they make the right decision (if you have that kind of patience). You want them to think through the two choices but clearly you have the better option in mind so you keep asking. So eventually they choose carrots b/c really it isn't going to be really decided until they make the "right" decision.
In my mind that was the scenario that played out for the decision of standard treatment at home vs. clinical trial at Vandy. Oh the decision was made several times, we were staying home! But then the question kept coming up, and not in a doubting way, it made sense, we were staying home. But like a patient parent He kept asking and until Vandy called and the appointment was made without discussion of pros and cons or what we were going to do. The decision was made and the questions stopped being asked.
I am not sure why He wanted on this clinical trial. Is it the best form of treatment for Craig at this time and the next step in healing? Or did He want Craig is be a part of the research puzzle? Not sure. Either way we are honored that He kept asking and it is a part of the journey and obedience to follow Him. Craig is the youngest person in the trial at Vandy. So it could be at the end of the trial Dr. Berlin could say, "this is a break through treatment and here is our poster child and a clear scan" or he could say "this treatment doesn't work on PC, if it was going to work for anyone it would have been Craig."
Either way we are walking through this journey His way and regardless where that leads, healing on earth or in heaven, it is fine.
I have always felt that this journey is part of something much bigger than us. He has a purpose for all this adversity. We will follow His way, no matter what His purpose is for this journey.
So Craig is at Vandy getting the second treatment with his "wing man", Jason. I have no idea how things are going but someone will update tonight or tomorrow. Going into the treatment he was on pain-killers and still had back and abdomen pain.
Prayers for no side effects and ease of the pain.
Please pray for me. I have been down a very selfish road these past couple days and was Bitter Betty. That road is not joyful, not tolerable and there is no way that I can fulfill His will for our family on that road. After a long conversation with a dear friend I am getting back on track. God put Gwen in my life and I am forever grateful. forever grateful. She hears the worst of the worst and is somehow is still willing to be my friend.
Monday, October 24, 2011
246
As Michelle previously posted, I didn't experience any real nausea and fatigue wasn't too bad but I have been experiencing abdominal pain which ranked as about a 7 on the pain scale. We didn't know why I was having the pain as its not really a normal side effect from a treatment. I talked to Vandy today and they expressed they were not overly concerned about the pain being something out of the ordinary for my situation as long as I wasn't experiencing other symptoms like a fever or nausea. They recommended I keep up with my pain meds. I have been eating normal and not having any other problems so I figured something might be inflamed or something like that. We really aren't certain what exactly is causing the pain but I asked what my tumor marker was that they pulled last Thursday before my treatment. My number was 246, up from seventy something. So that means my tumor and my cancer has become much more active. The highest reading I ever had was in the mid 300's which was around the time I was diagnosed. This number goes into the 1000's so my number is still manageable but we are a little concerned it's shooting upwards. We have to hope this treatment starts to knock it back down. The pain is most likely being caused by my pancreatic tumor pressing against the nerves in my back. The pain shoots through my back if I'm late on meds. I'm still on course to go back down to Nashville on Thursday for another treatment (#17). This will be the first time I'll be doing a treatment without Michelle. We're going to let her stay here and keep the family in order. Jason Breit will be my wingman this week. I never could let anyone do a treatment with me because of the ugliness but this treatment is a lot more manageable (other than the pain). I'm not freaking out by any means because of the above news. It's not reason to. Reason for concern is valid. I'm also prepared for any news a doctor can give me. So that's the update, not much else to say.
Side note, prayers go out to my friend and coworker Melinda Dytrich Briscoe. She married the love of her life, Jamal Briscoe, about 2 years ago and she recently unexpectedly lost him. Jamal was 29. Jamal and Melinda both have a strong faith and that's simply what will get them through this. Jamal was a very friendly, always smiling, genuine person. Hang tough Melinda! You've got our support, prayers and love.
Side note, prayers go out to my friend and coworker Melinda Dytrich Briscoe. She married the love of her life, Jamal Briscoe, about 2 years ago and she recently unexpectedly lost him. Jamal was 29. Jamal and Melinda both have a strong faith and that's simply what will get them through this. Jamal was a very friendly, always smiling, genuine person. Hang tough Melinda! You've got our support, prayers and love.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
update for tonight
Craig has had a rough day. Fatigue is not the biggest obstacle as anticipated but cramping pain in his abdomen. Not sure what it is from or what has caused it. He has taken his pain medicine that he hasn't had to take for quite some time and put a heating pad on it. The heating pad loosen his abdomen enough to run out for dinner but after a short visit he was back in bed in pain.
It has been a frustrating day for all of us. It is frustrating to see him struggling with little that we can do and little reason for the pain. I am not really sure what to say at this point.
Although treatment is the obvious choice to ensure more time on earth it is a bit frustrating that he feels perfectly normal off treatment and when he is on treatment he feels like crap. It makes you question whether you are doing more harm than good?
I guess it was just a rough day. I hope tomorrow is better.
It has been a frustrating day for all of us. It is frustrating to see him struggling with little that we can do and little reason for the pain. I am not really sure what to say at this point.
Although treatment is the obvious choice to ensure more time on earth it is a bit frustrating that he feels perfectly normal off treatment and when he is on treatment he feels like crap. It makes you question whether you are doing more harm than good?
I guess it was just a rough day. I hope tomorrow is better.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Finishing up at Vanderbilt
We are finishing up at Vanderbilt now.
Here's the run down of the day:
8a CT scan
10a Blood work
11:30 EKG
lunch
wait wait wait wait
2:00 approved for the clinical trial get set up for treatment
wait wait wait
4:00 start treatment
It has been a lOOOOOOng day and we still have travel back home.
The good news is there wasn't any further growth that showed up on the CT scan from the last scan 6ish weeks ago. Blood work was normal. Heart is fine (duh). Lunch was just okay (haha). The waiting can make a person crazy.
Dr. Berlin actually showed us the CT scan pictures which we have never seen. Very interesting. Ridiculous that little shadows can reek this much hectic on a person's life.
I guess that is it for today.
Craig will be here once a week for three weeks straight and then off a week.
Prayers for minimal side effects. The one that can be expected is fatigue but Dr. Berlin said that if he was sleeping all day tomorrow and not able to function then they would need to adjust the dosage. It will be a new world if Craig can do a treatment one day and be a functioning human the next day. We shall see.
Here's the run down of the day:
8a CT scan
10a Blood work
11:30 EKG
lunch
wait wait wait wait
2:00 approved for the clinical trial get set up for treatment
wait wait wait
4:00 start treatment
It has been a lOOOOOOng day and we still have travel back home.
The good news is there wasn't any further growth that showed up on the CT scan from the last scan 6ish weeks ago. Blood work was normal. Heart is fine (duh). Lunch was just okay (haha). The waiting can make a person crazy.
Dr. Berlin actually showed us the CT scan pictures which we have never seen. Very interesting. Ridiculous that little shadows can reek this much hectic on a person's life.
I guess that is it for today.
Craig will be here once a week for three weeks straight and then off a week.
Prayers for minimal side effects. The one that can be expected is fatigue but Dr. Berlin said that if he was sleeping all day tomorrow and not able to function then they would need to adjust the dosage. It will be a new world if Craig can do a treatment one day and be a functioning human the next day. We shall see.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Clinical Trial
Well on my last post, I told you I was 90-10 leaning towards not doing the clinical trial. If you've learned anything about me, you'd know those stats don't mean anything. In this case, the 10% won and I'm moving forward with plans to do a clinical trial. I like it when the small percentage wins. A bunch of things were considered in making my decision. One big one is this is my only opportunity to do this trial; I can't start another chemotherapy or I'd become inelgible. There are also limited trials in driving distance that I would qualify for from here on out. I also realize that clinical trials are important in medicine. I may be a guinea pig but hopefully I'll be a successful guinea pig. In this instance, I'll still have another treatment in my back pocket that I can come back to rather than getting closer to the end of the road options. I think that's most of the positives. I guess there's the hope too that this something new could end up being a great breakthrough; that's the hope. The cons included having to drive to Nashville every week, not knowing if this will work, having more prolonged side effects compared to the treatment I could get here. The side effects are little up in the air but it appears the worst one is fatigue and it's few days long supposedly. FYI, fatigue before cancer meant being tired too me. Now I know it means don't make any plans, you're not getting out of bed and tv annoys the heck out of you so there's no entertainment options while you are laid up.
The drug is an experimental drug and is currently being tried in many different cancer trials right now.
The trial's official description: http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01227018
The trial's official rationale: Hsp90 inhibitor STA-9090 may stop the growth of tumor cells by blocking some of the proteins needed for cell growth. PURPOSE: This phase II trial is studying how well hsp90 inhibitor STA-9090 as second-line therapy works in treating patients with metastatic pancreatic cancer.
What's bad is I know I understand most of the verbaige on this page; I guess I'm in the 1%. Again, the small percentage wins for me. The plans are to go down to Nashville next Thursday and do lots of different screenings in the morning (full body CT scan, EKG heart test, blood tests, etc) and assuming I pass, I'll do my first treatment that afternoon. I'll repeat week 2 and then repeat week 3 and then take week 4 off. We'll reevaluate and make sure this first month went well and hopefully continue if all is going well. I basically stay on the trial until either I want out or if my tumors are growing (i.e the treatment is not working).
We'll see where this leads!
Also, cool news. I got the Oldham County government to approve an official proclamation recognizing November as Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month. I'll be attending a public meeting on November 1 at the courthouse to accept the proclamation and also give a brief presentation to the county government about PC. More details to come, it's a public meeting if you are interested in coming.
The drug is an experimental drug and is currently being tried in many different cancer trials right now.
The trial's official description: http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01227018
The trial's official rationale: Hsp90 inhibitor STA-9090 may stop the growth of tumor cells by blocking some of the proteins needed for cell growth. PURPOSE: This phase II trial is studying how well hsp90 inhibitor STA-9090 as second-line therapy works in treating patients with metastatic pancreatic cancer.
What's bad is I know I understand most of the verbaige on this page; I guess I'm in the 1%. Again, the small percentage wins for me. The plans are to go down to Nashville next Thursday and do lots of different screenings in the morning (full body CT scan, EKG heart test, blood tests, etc) and assuming I pass, I'll do my first treatment that afternoon. I'll repeat week 2 and then repeat week 3 and then take week 4 off. We'll reevaluate and make sure this first month went well and hopefully continue if all is going well. I basically stay on the trial until either I want out or if my tumors are growing (i.e the treatment is not working).
We'll see where this leads!
Also, cool news. I got the Oldham County government to approve an official proclamation recognizing November as Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month. I'll be attending a public meeting on November 1 at the courthouse to accept the proclamation and also give a brief presentation to the county government about PC. More details to come, it's a public meeting if you are interested in coming.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Wisdom
We are requesting prayers for today. It seems that our heads and hearts are teetering back and forth on the clinical trial at Vandy. We need God to come and sit at the dinner table and say "go to Vandy for the clinical trial" or "stay here and do Gemcidibine." The list of pros and cons isn't quite cutting it to make this decision. Please pray for a clear answer from God today on what our next steps should be. We will follow whatever He says to do.
Proverbs 3 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all you ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. (Which step to take, Lord?)
Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Thanks for the prayers.
Proverbs 3 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all you ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. (Which step to take, Lord?)
Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Thanks for the prayers.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Huber's 2011
picked pumpkins
ate a picnic lunch
fed the fish in the pond
bought apples to make apple muffins
burnt the muffins this weekend
good memories for our family
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Vanderbilt
It was great to meet with Dr Berlin at Vandy again. He's very knowledgeable and spent a good 40 minutes with us explaining the in's and out's of PC. The purpose of the trip was to gain more information on a clinical trial they have going on. The trial name for the drug is STA 9090. It's in Phase II which means it's been tested on a few people basically to figure what amount the dosage should be for treating patients. I was very eager to hear success info and what side effects I could encounter. Well, the trial is still very new and he basically has not collected enough information to form an opinion if it's working or not. The few people that did the treatment did not stay on it long because the side effects proved to be too much. The biggest side effect noticed was fatigue that stayed with the patients for about 3 days. This treatment is one day week 1, week 2, week 3 and then off week 4. The people doing the treatment were not working like I'm trying to. Only real way to make this treatment work is doing it on a Friday and use the weekend to recover. Well, I'm a big fan of spending time with my family and if you take all of my weekends away, that's not really living life. In my mind, Dr Berlin, who was very honest with us, questioned rather it was worth us driving that far every week to give it a shot. I haven't 100% decided against trying to make this work but I'm about 90% leaning away from it. I do have 2 very viable options that I can do here in Louisville. Both are treatments that are done weekly but the side effects are very minimal and I can probably go back to work the day after the treatment. Gemcitibine is the standard treatment for PC and some people respond to it and some don't. I'm optimistic I'll have some success with it because my body has responded well in the past. Gemcitibine plus tarceva is the most popular option for me but I can also shoot to do gemcitibine plus abraxine. Abraxine is a very common chemotherapy used in breast cancer treatments and is currently being studied as a clinical trial for pancreatic cancer. It's getting good results thus far. It's not FDA approved for pancreatic cancer as of now but it is FDA approved for other cancers. Basically, we'd have to run it past the insurance company to see it they'll approve gemcitibine with abraxine. It's getting approved commonly so this may be a good option either for now or later if the other doesn't have any success. I need to make a decision very soon and start this up either this week or next at the latest.
Thank you Wegner's for dinner and good company while we were in Nashville!
Thank you Wegner's for dinner and good company while we were in Nashville!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
One Year Anniversary - October 4th
It was exactly one year ago. I was at work and I noticed the whites of my eyes were turning yellow. I called the doctor and he told me I needed to go to the emergency room. I took my Monday morning conference call and wrapped some stuff up at work and then drove myself to Norton Old Brownsboro Crossing. My life was then forever changed. The diagnosis came pretty quick after they did a CT scan. I remember lying in the bed shell shocked but still not realizing what they just told me. They told me it was probably pancreatic cancer but they didn't immediately tell me what that meant. Everything sunk in that first night at the hospital though. I remember not completely freaking out because 6 months seemed like a long time away.
I've shared the stats before, my chances of making it to 6 months was 50% and it was 25% to make it one year. I am extremely fortunate to still be here. I'm one of the lucky few, I guess. One year is a success. Today has been a bag of mixed emotions. While I feel fortunate to be here, I'm still reminded I'm going to be climbing that hill from here on out. I'm still spooked by how much my life changed on the last October 4th. That day was zero fun. My next goal is October 4th, 2012.
This type of cancer can be extremely aggressive. I feel I'm doing good right now but things can change in a couple of days. There are countless stories of folks being diagnosed with this cancer and not making it a week after diagnosis. I have to keep reality in check. I really feel great right now though a lot of that has to do with the fact I haven't had a chemo treatment in about a month. We're headed to Vanderbilt on this Friday and will be making a decision soon.
One good thing that has come out of this is my upgraded relationship with God. I ask the question every day, "How do folks get through this type of mess without a deep faith in God?" Where do they turn when they need to be picked up. I remember when I first typed on this blog, I stated that I wasn't mad at God for allowing this to happen. I said I was mad at myself for the being the type of person that could deal with this. I feel I've handled this in a decent manner. The things that keep going is my relationship with God but also important is my friends and family that have helped support me. I don't mind and cherish the fact that I help people see what is most important in their life. I want to encourage people and I want to be a wake up call to people. Life really can be short. God and your family and your friends should be your priority. Another lesson is quit putting important things off, do it. There's countless things to learn from this situation. It's stuff we know, we just have to act upon those desires and plans. It's not easy, I still procrastinate with things but I'm getting better.
I'll end this post with saying a big huge "Thank You" from the bottom of my heart. I have felt so loved and so prayed upon. We have such an awesome support system. Thanks for reading our blog too, it's been a great avenue for us to get our feelings out there. I hope and pray that I'm able to enjoy my family for another year. Michelle and my girls mean the absolute world to me. I can't stand the thought of making them cry. My main prayers go out for them.
God bless!
I've shared the stats before, my chances of making it to 6 months was 50% and it was 25% to make it one year. I am extremely fortunate to still be here. I'm one of the lucky few, I guess. One year is a success. Today has been a bag of mixed emotions. While I feel fortunate to be here, I'm still reminded I'm going to be climbing that hill from here on out. I'm still spooked by how much my life changed on the last October 4th. That day was zero fun. My next goal is October 4th, 2012.
This type of cancer can be extremely aggressive. I feel I'm doing good right now but things can change in a couple of days. There are countless stories of folks being diagnosed with this cancer and not making it a week after diagnosis. I have to keep reality in check. I really feel great right now though a lot of that has to do with the fact I haven't had a chemo treatment in about a month. We're headed to Vanderbilt on this Friday and will be making a decision soon.
One good thing that has come out of this is my upgraded relationship with God. I ask the question every day, "How do folks get through this type of mess without a deep faith in God?" Where do they turn when they need to be picked up. I remember when I first typed on this blog, I stated that I wasn't mad at God for allowing this to happen. I said I was mad at myself for the being the type of person that could deal with this. I feel I've handled this in a decent manner. The things that keep going is my relationship with God but also important is my friends and family that have helped support me. I don't mind and cherish the fact that I help people see what is most important in their life. I want to encourage people and I want to be a wake up call to people. Life really can be short. God and your family and your friends should be your priority. Another lesson is quit putting important things off, do it. There's countless things to learn from this situation. It's stuff we know, we just have to act upon those desires and plans. It's not easy, I still procrastinate with things but I'm getting better.
I'll end this post with saying a big huge "Thank You" from the bottom of my heart. I have felt so loved and so prayed upon. We have such an awesome support system. Thanks for reading our blog too, it's been a great avenue for us to get our feelings out there. I hope and pray that I'm able to enjoy my family for another year. Michelle and my girls mean the absolute world to me. I can't stand the thought of making them cry. My main prayers go out for them.
God bless!
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