http://erikandkatekrull.blogspot.com/2012/01/question-of-faith.html
I follow a couple blogs and I can't remember where I found this one but I have been following this blog for a little while. Her post on faith really was a great one and I wanted to share it. The whole time I was reading it I was nodding in agreement... oh yes! yeah, exactly, yep, I get that. Basically I couldn't have said it better myself so here is the link.
Right now I feel like we are in stall-mode. When Craig feels good we do stuff with him and when he doesn't we fill in the time around here. Not really a whole lot going on right now. He sleeps a lot still, some days more than others. Some days he feels okay and some days are filled with tummy aches in between naps. We had fun yesterday at a friend's birthday party. Pictures to come (maybe).
So there was mixed response to "the other side of goals and wishes" and that is fine. I can't tell you I am glad that I posted it but it was definitely a healing part of this process. I have learned a lesson walking through this journey is if you are not honest with your emotions then they will eat you alive. I am committed WALKING THROUGH this fire rather than around it. Not doing that is self-destructive and would harm my kids more than not walking through the fire and dealing as trouble comes along. It was time to call a spade a spade. This is crap and there is no sugar coating it. Getting through that ugly emotion has allowed me to enjoy the time that we have shared together the last week or so.
Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:9-10 NIV
A man in sorrow is in general much nearer God than a man in joy. Gladness may make a man forget his thanksgiving: misery drives him to prayer. -George MacDonald
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing, as always! I read through the other blog, as well as all of the comments. This one sentence in one of the comments caught my eye:
"Emotions are healthy, but not when they're our god."
I thought of your post on the other side of goals and wishes and thought how appropriate that sentence is - because all of your emotions and feelings are very healthy; we are only human of course. And the biggest piece of that is that you know they are NOT your god - your faith is your God and that is huge and to me absolutely says that it is healthly for you to have those feelings! It is just like you said you have to walk THROUGH the fire, not around it. You have to be realistic and honest with your feelings, otherwise you'd bottle them up inside you and in that way they would be like your god, not your faith and our true God. I know this isn't very eloquent and probably doesn't make any sense but I just think that it explains why it's normal to have all sorts of feelings and emotions. What I also thought of when I first read your blog post on the other side of goals and wishes is this quote -"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Jeremiah 1:5 NIV
And I was thinking that because I thought your were being too hard on yourself for your thoughts/feelings and it just came to me that Jesus already knows all of your thoughts/feelings and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself.
Ok, so I am just repeating myself here so I'm going to close, but as always I am praying for you all and hope to see you soon. Oh, one last comment is that each time I am lucky enough to see you all and hang out with you, I can tell that you are cherishing your time with Craig and that you are trying to have as normal and special of a life as you can with him. It's hard with everyday life competing for your time, but I do know that you and Craig are even closer for this experience and that you both should be at peace with your feelings. That's what my prayers for you have been lately. Love you all!
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