He will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Opening Weekend and Life Lost

I guess this was the opening weekend act II.  Thursday morning I made the dreaded walk into the room that I affectionately refer to as the room where I get the snot kicked out of me.  I wasn't sure what to expect and I was a little eager to find out what the next 1/2 year was going to be like.  My goal was and is take the treatment on Thursday morning, suffer a few days and then recover over the weekend.  I knew that just getting 3 of the 4 drugs I used to get was more manageable and I recovered more quickly when I did this concoction for the last 2 of my treatments back in April.  Of course that concoction was at about 75% the normal dose and this time I was doing the full 100% dose.  The first half of Thursday was manageable and I was a little encouraged walking out of the office that I could do it.  I remembered the day it all began back last October and I remember it physically taking me to my knees.  I didn't want that again.  Thursday evening was very rough.  Let's say I could have bought some stock in porcelain.  On Friday, we upped some of the meds from the doctor which made me extremely uncomfortable and groggy but I kept from getting sick.  The other reason I probably kept from getting sick is because I was not able to eat Thursday after the treatment or on Friday.  Saturday was continued grogginess and I probably made it out of bed about a total of an hour.  This morning I started the day trying to hydrate myself as much as possible and it helped me get the day started.  I made it to church with the family which is obviously about important as anything I can do these days.  We had lunch together and then Hannah and I got our 2 hour naps in.  I think hers was more like 2.5 hours.  I've been up since the nap and got to spend some time outside enjoying the great weather.  It's now Sunday evening and I think I'm ready for some work tomorrow.  I still don't know what to expect tomorrow so my goal is to do the best I can.  I think this might work.  I still had my very dark time on Thursday and Friday when I have to convince myself getting the snot kicked out me is good for me when my diagnosis is so poor.  I want time with my family though.  We'll keep pushing forward and thanks for the millionth time for all the prayers and support; it reaches us and we feel it!

Nestled in this week before treatment and Emily's first day of school, our family lost a special person.  Marie Elaine Merimee Corum, a cousin of mine, passed this week at the age of 53.  She battled breast cancer off and on for 17 years and she eventually was forced to give in.  I am truly inspired and really in awe that someone can stay positive and fight this terrible disease for that long.  I honestly don't know how she did it but I'm sure she'd say her family was the reason.  To the Corum family and her close Merimee family, I'm very sorry for our loss.  I was saddened we were not able to make it to any of the arrangements.  I was partially optimistic I was going to show up at the funeral home on Friday evening with my chemo ball attached to me but it was not possible.  Elaine was a very good person and she will not be forgotten.  I believe she is now cancer free and full of energy and I'm very happy for her in that sense.  Our family was definitely better for having such a strong fighter in it.

God bless and hug your loved ones the next chance you get!

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