There is never 10 minutes that goes by throughout the day that I don't think of the what if's and the details of getting everyone where they need to be and working this stupid cancer into the mix. stupid cancer, we are far too busy for this!!! Sometimes I think is this really happening? really? I work really hard to stay in His word. I have plugged myself into uplifting Christian music for 75% of the day. I am a HUGE believer in what you put in is what comes out. The theory of "you are what you eat" goes beyond the drive-thru. If I read negative articles on-line then that is what is going to be in your head. If I "eat" medical stats that is what I become, depressing and just full of information. If I "eat" the Word that is what I am. I am full of His Power and His strength. This does not mean that I am in denial. I know that there is a 98% chance that I will be a widow in the next 4+ years. But I also know that God is bigger than that stat. I know that Craig is in a win/win. He either gets to be apart of this family or live in eternity forever. He actually gets both regardless it is just a matter of how long he gets one before he gets the other.
We are so spoiled. So spoiled. One day last week my head was spinning and I was searching the internet for pancreatic cancer survivor story. It is like finding a needle in a hay stack. The phone rang and it was Corky from SECC checking up on us. Generally Corky calls about twice a month to see what he can update the prayer request at church with. He called right when the internet search was going south. It wasn't a long conversation and generally it is quick update and I thank him for checking in and making sure we are on the list for prayers and we hang up. The day that he called he stopped and said I want to pray with you today. We prayed together and we hung up the phone. It was a quick and nothing specific. That prayer made a U-turn on my search. God is our only hope in this situation and every situation. We cling to Him. So I exited out of my internet search and moved on with day and began my search for Him and found Him much quicker than PC survivors on the internet. We are so spoiled to live a city with the kind of support that we have. We are so spoiled to have phone calls that turn a hopeless search into a prayer that turns into hope. We are so spoiled to have a God that takes care of all our needs. So spoiled!!!!
We have been blessed with an incredible summer and we are committed to keeping our house as "normal" as possible. Craig has BIG hopes to be down just two days and back at it by the weekend. Tomorrow is chemo day. Please pray that this chemo keeps the cancer at bay or even better gets rid of it and that the side effects are minimal. We love our life and we want to get back to it ASAP.
I dropped Emily off at her first day of Kindergarten this morning. Wow! Overwhelming in every way. First the freakin' paperwork - geez!! and then walking that little person into the BIG building so she could start her school journey. Her little hand felt as small as it did the first day I met her in a OR at Norton Suburban in December 2005 and that school building seemed so big. WOW. Overwhelming. So joyful for her b/c the sky is the limit and she is just getting started!
Got in the car and "God is so Good" was playing. He is so Good.
Pictures to come.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqXZD_z3eCc&feature=BFa&list=MLGxdCwVVULXeu-uq0ettPZMUpz3EUnyYv&index=12
this is the song that I hit repeat on this week.
We shall overcome... one day at a time.
Prayers.
1 comment:
You're right. Spoiled we are. In case you want to know. In all this madness of our horrible vaca God kept reminding me to pray for you. Perspective is a good thing to have for those of us (me!) who are spoiled.
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