He will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

Monday, March 12, 2012

Pray for peace in this house

This weekend Craig seemed restless and uncomfortable. We had a hospice nurse come out yesterday afternoon to give some good advice and guidance. We have increased his pain meds to every two hours rather than every three hours and added in an anti-nausea med to the day. Sometimes he seems confused and can sometimes describe what he is confused about and other times he is clear in thinking and can talk about March Madness and the details of the tournament. I guess that is basketball in the Bluegrass for ya.

So as of Saturday night I am tracking his pain meds etc. We will see what the future holds as far as him being able to stay home. The plan is/was to be able to keep him here as long as we could for the sake of the logistics for the girls in the end. I am not sure those logistics are worth them witnesses the complete deterioration of their dad. I have been anxious about these types of decisions for over a year and now that we are closer I am not anxious about it. I know the Lord will lead and let us know the right timing and place for all this to occur. He has in the past and why I thought He would stop at the end and I would have to make those kinds of decision without His guidance seems silly now that we are a couple weeks away from that.

So we need prayers for clarity in decision making over the next couple weeks. We need prayers for a peaceful home regardless the circumstances. God will provide that peace. Peace is the ultimate goal each and everyday. There are a lot of people that want to help and if I tell you no you can't stop by at that moment, please don't take it personally. The more people that come in and out of here the more confusing it gets and the harder it is on Craig, the girls and me. Craig seems to still want to take care of his household and his energy level is in the negatives so it is hard on him to worry about who is here etc. I need down time, I need mindless TV time while I fold laundry (most nights). There are times I need someone to talk to but there are also times I just need a quiet house. And there are times that I need help. I can promise you this, I know what I need and when I need it. So really the best thing you can do to help us is pray for peace and I will let you know if we need anything else.

We are studying The Story throughout the year at SECC since it is the 50th Anniversary for the church. So we started in the beginning in February with Adam and Eve and we are to the ten commandments. The old testament is tough and dry, it makes me yearn for Easter so badly. Locust, and floods, gold pigs, and laws that are impossible to follow and the wrath of God, and suffering, walking around in the desert....Oh my Gosh... come on EASTER already. The timing of the story seems to be a direct correlation of what is going on here. You read passages about plagues of frogs and locust etc. and you think HOW bizarre! What in the world is God thinking about? I have said that about so many things on this journey and some of the things that happen when a person is down to last weeks, how bizarre! It feels like we are wandering in the desert right now but we know the end is full of redemption and restoration. A perfect plan so the study right now makes me thirsty for the "happily ever after" ending that Easter gives us as well as the "happily ever after" ending that Easter gives Craig. I yearn for him to have a body that doesn't take pain meds around the clock. I yearn for him to have a mind that is not foggy. I yearn for a better life for him. And b/c of what Jesus did on the cross he will soon enough... we just have to be patient and get there with the bizarre stuff that gets us there and pray for peace through this time that feels like a journey through the desert.

PS. I am going to post some pictures of last year's trip to TX, can you believe that was a year ago?


KentuckyDG17 said...

Praying for God to engulf you all in His peace that surpasses all understanding.
Love in Christ,

Rick Blair said...


My prayer is that only the peace and love of God, His Son, and His Spirit continue to brighten your doorway. I am happy to hear that Craig still wants to take care of his household. What a great guy!

Roberta S. said...

Prayers for peace to you all...you continue to be an inspiration to others....

Anonymous said...

Bless you.
Sending prayers to your family, wishing peace for you all.

Karen Hartlage

sara said...

My continued prayers are with you all - praying for a peaceful home and guidance in all of the decisions to be made. Love you, my friends.

carol n said...

We are with you in spirit, Craig and Michelle, and you are all in our deepest prayer. We are seeiing a blessed and peaceful household even as you move through the desert together... May you see God's graces wherever you turn.

Tim and Carol Neichter

Kathy Furnish said...

peace, love & prayers to you all

Roy said...

Dear Michelle, My heart goes out to you and Craig. I’ve given a lot of thought as to if I should send this or not. I followed your blogs for almost a year now. You and Craig, and your beautiful daughters show so much love for God and each other. The messages that you and Craig have posted inspired me and I’m sure it has many others. My wife and I are member of the Richmond Catholic Charismatic Renewal. We are in the middle of a Life In The Spirit Seminar. This past week the speaker spoke with such love for Our Lord and she told us a story of when she was suffering with chronic throat problem. She said one night as she was lying in bed praying that she received a prayer. She said this prayer and while it didn’t take away the pain right then, the next morning when she got up, the pain was gone and she has never had any further problem with her throat. As close as you are to Our Lord I’m sure He would tell you to say this same prayer for Craig.

By the Authority given to me by Jesus Christ, son of the Living God, Creator of the Universe. I command you, the source of the pain in Craig to be gone out of his body. There is no room for you here. He has already been Healed by the Stripes of Christ. He is already covered by the Blood of the Lamb and you have to obey His Authority.

I also pray for you Michelle that Our Lord with help you during these days, may He comfort and strengthen you to be able to do the things that need to be done.
God Bless all of you,