He will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

Saturday, April 9, 2011

I can't be two places at one time.

I haven't posted in a while b/c honestly I have been too busy this week. I needed to be at at least two places at one time the majority of this past week. My mom was sick and I won't go into too much of the details but it was a tough week.

After a week of being torn between so many places we didn't have much to do today and I was really glad to do not much of anything. I ran to Target to help the Easter bunny out a bit and we waited for the rain to stop and broke out the rain boats. Fun stuff. Hannah thought it was funny to watch her sisters walk through the puddles. We went to church was great to be back at the Blankenbaker campus.
We came home and the girls road their bikes in the driveway after dinner. Morgan is finally getting the hang of driving the Barbie jeep, although she ran into the house and over my foot so she is far from perfection but she has driving in circles and giggling down pat.

So really I am not saying too much on here. It has been an exhausting week and I am really thankful for a really normal Saturday with nothing to do but whatever we wanted.

We are leaving for Vandy tomorrow night so we are there for our early appointment on Monday morning. My dear friend Liz is staying overnight with the girls since my mom is out of commission for the time being. It really is amazing the way our friends jump in when we need help. Every time someone does something wonderful for us it is like God himself is doing it. He provides in so many ways.

I really want to get pictures of the final four posted so that will come soon. Emily drew a picture of the game with such detail. I need to scan it. It is soo cute. She drew the players and the baskets and the stands. Very detailed. Morgan drew a picture of "the love" for us. She is more of an abstract artist ;). These were things that we received when we returned from Houston. I think art therapy has done them a lot of good. Morgan especially has been able to identify her feelings and seems really comfortable doing it when she is doing a little project like play dough or drawing. Just like she does there.
I talked with their therapist Friday and I said Morgan seems okay on the weeks that are not treatment weeks but she really doesn't like when Craig is down and out. I told her of course that worries me for the future b/c now it is just 3 days after chemo but eventually it will be lifetime. Then what? The therapist (her name is Eileen) says you will continue to use the resources that are available and these things that we are working on now will better equip them for anything they face. That is great way to look at it. I do get down thinking of all they have witnesses in the past 6 months but some of this will help them cope better in the future. Is it the way that I wanted them to learn life lessons - NO! But that being said they have already gotten over their fear of hospitals. When I had Hannah in June they were so scared to come see me in the hospital. Friday we went from art therapy at Norton Suburban to see my mom at Norton Brownsboro (oh good times, let me tell ya), when we turn the bent we look for the big blue "N" on the side of the building. Morgan spotted it and said "this is the best day ever!" Now it was probably b/c she got to play with play dough and we drove with the windows down but none the less, she is not scared of hospitals any more. What a great life lesson. Not to fear going or visiting people at the hospital. It is simple a part of life. Heck maybe one of them will be a doctor or a nurse or an art therapist b/c of their life lessons they learned at such a young age. I may be getting ahead of myself but I do pray for their hearts. May they continue to grow and be the people that God wants them to be even through adversity.

So the girls are good. Hannah is so stinkin' cute it is hard not to just kiss her all the time. She is cruising down the couch and she can stand for about 5 seconds w/o holding on.

Craig and I have talked a little about next steps but I don't really feel like I am in a good place to make my vote heard. I am way too tired to say much of anything. April 4th was 6 months from diagnosis so our miracle started on the 5th. Each day from here on out is a miracle. He mowed the grass today and that really is a miracle that not only is he alive but feels good enough to take care of three kids and mow the grass. It is tough to think that we are already on "borrowed time" but really who isn't. God only knows the day and the time. Although the stats say that Craig will not out live anyone he knows but maybe a few, only God knows. He could outlive us all. We just have to pray that our miracle can be counted in years rather than days. Although years add up one day at a time. So when I say we are day to day, we are in so many ways.
I told God at church today that as soon as He gave me years I would start asking for decades. He kind of figured that. But I will say it again, I need him more than you God. Emily needs him more than you, Morgan needs him more than you, and Hannah needs him more than you. Aunt Janie needs him more than you. Mammaw Lucas needs him more than you. Patty and Kristen need him more than you. BB&T needs him more than you. My family needs him more than you. His friends need him more than you. So let us keep him years, no decades, one day at a time, let it add up to a lifetime.

So prayers for next steps and more NORMAL days ahead. many more days ahead.

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