Kyle Idleman (associate pastor at Southeast, the one who did Craig's funeral service) emailed me this morning and asked for my blessing that our cancer journey be apart of his sermon this weekend for Easter!! I of course said ABSOLUTELY! As I read the email, I reached for the phone to call Craig. ugh and remembered he wasn't there to share the moment of joy that we had been honored in being a part of a service that could potentially touch thousands. tears. tears. tears.
I am still overcome with JOY that God continues to work through this situation. Amazing. Amazing.
So how's it going:
I have been doing pretty good. So many tears have been shed over 17 months time that I am still rejoicing that Craig is cancer-free right now. I miss him like a crazy-woman and I read through text messages and email so I can "hear" his voice but I am still so relieved that he is not suffering any longer. There are many people that walked the walked with us but until you have lived it 24/7 for almost a year and a half you can't understand the suffering that man endured with that nasty disease. It may wear off one day but for right now I am excited he is a whole person. The afternoon that he died I walked outside to see if I had missed the mail and an overwhelming sense that he was happy came over me. You know when you walk into a room and you can feel a person's mood? That is what I felt for Craig. He is healed and whole and so very happy. So I am excited for him. There are times that I am sad and I sit on my couch and just sob for what "should have been" but for the most part right now I am relieved for him and so happy that he made it Home.
My intentions were to close this blog and start another. I have start another one but I can tell you it is really really really overwhelming to start fresh. There doesn't seem to be much to it yet and it feel like I am writing on a blank canvas with no history just shots in the dark. I thought about just continuing on this blog since it looks like with Kyle sermon this weekend that God is not done with the work that He has done here. But then again start a new blog is like starting a new chapter and that is where we are. The chapter doesn't ignore the last one but it builds onto it. I am really torn on what to do. Any thoughts?
So here is the link to the service times for Easter at Southeast. Me and the girls plan to attend Blankenbaker at 11:15 on Easter Sunday. If you plan to join us and want to sit together, email me at email@example.com and we will make a meeting spot before the service begins. I thought about going to the Oldham campus that has become home but that little place is going to be a mad-house at 10:30 and with the Easter bunny still coming here in the morning I don't think OC campus is going to work. It is really hard to figure this stuff out by yourself. Craig and I use to weigh the pros and cons and make plans. Sometimes I find myself talking to myself to try to figure some thing out. Yes, I may have lost my mind... it is here somewhere... I'll find it... :)
http://themerimeegirls.blogspot.com/ Here is the new blog address that I have created. Again there is not much on there. I am still torn on whether to go to the new blog or just continue with this journey. I'm just not sure of the answer here. My gut tells me to start new, make this one into a book and start fresh but that is pretty scary on so many levels... I guess that is what the blog could be about...
I do love my blog so we are continuing in some way. I have received 4+ email today that people miss the blog. One even said it was like a reality TV show that was cancelled and you never knew what the ending was, Ha that is funny. The good part is there isn't an ending, that is how God works. This blog started as just a way for people to stop texting me a 100 times a day the first week we were in the hospital and it has of course grown into so much more for us and for some of our readers. So what is God plan for the next blog?
If you want a window into my world, fine by me but the same rules applies, if you don't like it, then don't read it. :) I'm a gal who is who she is, and you can take it or leave.
I yearned for this weekend's celebration when Craig was so sick those last couple weeks. I am rejoicing in the fact that he is living the life that God intented for all who follow Him. God saw His own son suffer and die on a cross for our sins, but He wasn't done yet. What a gift to conquer the grave so that we could celebrate Easter.
So when I say Happy Easter... no really Happy Easter!!!!!
Hope to see you at church this weekend. (ohhh wouldn't it be awesome if we all wore purple to honor Craig... oh this could be so good...)